The rainbow after the rain

In September 2013, I signed up for the Salsa Dance Club not knowing what I was getting myself into. I had no idea what I was even doing there; I didn't know anybody, and just decided to go along with what was about to come. Then I auditioned to be a part of the UW Salsa Dance Team.

The night I found out I passed the audition, and was going to be part of the team, I freaked out big time, and smiled so widely that my cheeks hurt.

I thanked God profusely.

The night I found out I was elected to be a dance instructor for the coming school year, I felt so overwhelmed that I couldn't stop crying from joy.

I thanked God profusely.

Because of dance I have been able to meet some of the most amazing people who share the same passion as I do, and I cannot thank God enough for that. He has blessed me beyond measures, and has given me more than what I asked for. My dance family makes me happy; they make my days a lot brighter, and give me strength to continue pursuing my lifelong dream and passion.

I continue to thank God profusely.

Last day in my home away from home

September 2012 was the beginning of one of the best years of my life; I had felt like I hit a dead end for the better half of the senior year of high school—I was horribly stressed out, uninspired, and just felt crappy in general. I didn't have any problems with my friends or teachers, but it was the pressure of academics that got the best of me, plus I didn't even have time to dance back then so relaxing was a no-no for me. 

It wasn't until I graduated from high school that I felt like I could pull myself together again after being stuck in a rut for 2 years. After a few months of wondering what I should do next, God eventually told me that He had a plan for me, and although it meant that I would be taking a different path that all my other friends were on, it would still be awesome; He was right. One night while I was out with friends, trying to have fun before all of us separated ways, I received a text from my mom that she got from my former dance instructor. In that message, I was told that there was an opening for a dance instructor training program, and I immediately jumped at the chance—little did I know that it was going to be the start of something great.

Once I got an "OK" from my mom, I contacted my former instructor, and told her that I was interested in the program; flash forward to a month later, I was officially the youngest trainee dance instructor at the studio. The training period went great for the most part, but there were still some days when I thought to myself "Why in the world am I doing this again?" because I was nervous that things weren't going to work out. The doubt that had plagued me in high school had mostly gone away, but it still came back to haunt me at certain times in my trainee days; back then, I was honestly just taking things one day at a time, and thanking God and leaning on Him each step of the way because everything felt so unreal. 

I eventually graduated from the program with a "Highly Commendable Pass" and I remember feeling so out-of-this-world when I received my certificate—I kept thinking "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I'm a certified dance instructor! ME! I'M A DANCE INSTRUCTOR!" since it had always been my dream to be a dance instructor and own a dance company/studio ever since I was 4 years old; it was such a great day, and I still thank God for blessing me abundantly. After I graduated, I moved on to teach a few classes, hold a couple of workshops, substitute for my dance instructor's classes, dance for a university advertisement project, train a group of dancers for a dance competition, and I even started a Youtube channel to share my passion with an even bigger audience! Granted, there were a ton of ups and downs, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

September 2013: now a year has flashed by before my eyes, and it's time for me to move on with my life. 2 September 2013 was my last day in the dance studio, and it just felt so weird knowing that yesterday's class was the last one I was going to attend. I felt wistful throughout class, but I didn't cry or even shed a single tear, because I knew that I'll always be a part of the studio, as my instructor once told me. I feel eternally grateful that God led me to that place a year ago, and thankful for reconnecting me with my instructor, who has helped me so much in more ways than one! There's an end to everything, but I will never forget the place that got everything started for me, and the people God has introduced to my life who has helped me get to where I am today. I'll definitely look back fondly on the year I spent working with and in the studio, but here's to an even more fantastic future :')

Lots of love,
Jennifer W.

The Fear of Falling: What's holding you back?

You have to get over the fear of falling before you can succeed :)

Doing all sorts of stunts at Pilates yesterday definitely gave me a lot of things to think about—of course, after my body had had time to recuperate, and my brain a chance to rest and get all those gears running again. Yesterday, I was faced with numerous physical challenges that I had never really encountered before for the sake of the shoot. I was familiar with most of the stunts, but there were a couple of things that were new to me, which I had to do on the spot; I spent a good amount of time, when not assuming the poses, worrying about a lot of things.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I had never once attempted to do this particular stunt whatsoever, and was only challenged on the spot by the senior Pilates instructor. I declined at first because I was so darn scared, but the next thing I knew, my world was turned upside down. Once I was in that position, I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness, what was I so afraid of? This is actually pretty fun!" and that was before I came back down and got a horrible head rush.

Anyway, I kept thinking of that particular stunt, and somehow managed to relate it to my every day life—I know it sounds silly, but stay with me here. Before I got into that pose, I was so afraid of falling and failing that I didn't even want to try; my mind was so clouded over with the terror of slipping and cracking my head open that I almost gave up and pleaded the instructors to just let me move on with the shoot. I then began to realize that that mindset of "This is impossible; I know I'm gonna fail, so why should I even try in the first place?" is what usually keeps a lot of us human beings, including me, from succeeding in life.

Case in point: I've been in a few situations after I graduated from high school where I had to make certain changes in my life because I knew that they just had to be done in order for me to be happy. For the longest time, I had felt like God was telling me that He had a different path for me to take from what my peers were taking; I knew that He had something in store for me. However, for a person like me who thrives on consistency and familiarity, even though I knew it was for the better, I still couldn't shake off the fear of failure. I'm really not joking. I was resolute in my decision, but the first year afterward was sort of tough for me; I felt really insecure a lot of the time and a lot of people in my life were doubting me, but I always prayed for patience, wisdom, and strength to go through those changes in my life because I was not used to them.

Flash forward to the present, I feel so silly whenever I think back to those times of uncertainty, because I'm so glad that I listened to God's voice, followed His plans, took a leap of faith and actually changed my life instead of sticking to my routine because I was afraid. I am very happy now, and I sometimes do say to myself, "What were you so afraid of, Jenn?" I still have insecurities, and I still get nervous sometimes—I'm not perfect, I'm just like any other human being—but I'm training myself to embrace change, and get over the fear of falling, because I realize now that once I dive right in, things don't seem as bad as they did in the first place.

I still have a long way to go, and there are so many more things to do with my life—university, career, marriage, family. I don't always know where I'll end up in, or what I'll do, but I have faith that God is working in me and He has a plan for me. I'll just have to see where He takes me :)

Have faith that God will not forsake you or let you fall, so just let yourself go :)

Love,
Jennifer W.