The Fear of Falling: What's holding you back?

You have to get over the fear of falling before you can succeed :)

Doing all sorts of stunts at Pilates yesterday definitely gave me a lot of things to think about—of course, after my body had had time to recuperate, and my brain a chance to rest and get all those gears running again. Yesterday, I was faced with numerous physical challenges that I had never really encountered before for the sake of the shoot. I was familiar with most of the stunts, but there were a couple of things that were new to me, which I had to do on the spot; I spent a good amount of time, when not assuming the poses, worrying about a lot of things.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I had never once attempted to do this particular stunt whatsoever, and was only challenged on the spot by the senior Pilates instructor. I declined at first because I was so darn scared, but the next thing I knew, my world was turned upside down. Once I was in that position, I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness, what was I so afraid of? This is actually pretty fun!" and that was before I came back down and got a horrible head rush.

Anyway, I kept thinking of that particular stunt, and somehow managed to relate it to my every day life—I know it sounds silly, but stay with me here. Before I got into that pose, I was so afraid of falling and failing that I didn't even want to try; my mind was so clouded over with the terror of slipping and cracking my head open that I almost gave up and pleaded the instructors to just let me move on with the shoot. I then began to realize that that mindset of "This is impossible; I know I'm gonna fail, so why should I even try in the first place?" is what usually keeps a lot of us human beings, including me, from succeeding in life.

Case in point: I've been in a few situations after I graduated from high school where I had to make certain changes in my life because I knew that they just had to be done in order for me to be happy. For the longest time, I had felt like God was telling me that He had a different path for me to take from what my peers were taking; I knew that He had something in store for me. However, for a person like me who thrives on consistency and familiarity, even though I knew it was for the better, I still couldn't shake off the fear of failure. I'm really not joking. I was resolute in my decision, but the first year afterward was sort of tough for me; I felt really insecure a lot of the time and a lot of people in my life were doubting me, but I always prayed for patience, wisdom, and strength to go through those changes in my life because I was not used to them.

Flash forward to the present, I feel so silly whenever I think back to those times of uncertainty, because I'm so glad that I listened to God's voice, followed His plans, took a leap of faith and actually changed my life instead of sticking to my routine because I was afraid. I am very happy now, and I sometimes do say to myself, "What were you so afraid of, Jenn?" I still have insecurities, and I still get nervous sometimes—I'm not perfect, I'm just like any other human being—but I'm training myself to embrace change, and get over the fear of falling, because I realize now that once I dive right in, things don't seem as bad as they did in the first place.

I still have a long way to go, and there are so many more things to do with my life—university, career, marriage, family. I don't always know where I'll end up in, or what I'll do, but I have faith that God is working in me and He has a plan for me. I'll just have to see where He takes me :)

Have faith that God will not forsake you or let you fall, so just let yourself go :)

Love,
Jennifer W.

An exciting day at Pilates!

After a few months of planning, my Pilates instructor, the senior instructor and I finally got around to photoshoot day! We scrapped the normal regime and just spent the whole hour taking pictures of me in these insane poses. I'm quite sure it was one of the most physically intense hour of my life so far, but it was really fun!

I got to try a few new stunts I had never done before, and one or two of them were from the advanced level, so they were really scary. I'll admit that during the session my body was shaking like a phone on vibrate, my heart was palpitating, and my brain was all fuzzy from doing all those flips and other tricks; I couldn't even think properly enough to pray for like I always had whenever I did aerial stunts in Pilates class—I'm just super thankful that God watched over me and didn't let me slip and fall on my head. 

Although I'm super duper exhausted now, I feel really great and I managed to see my body in a whole new light! I'm extremely happy that my muscles were strong enough to hold me up, and all the 4/5 years of training in Pilates has done me well! Ah, thank God for this :D 

This was the advanced level pose that the senior instructor (the man who's spotting me in the picture) had me do. He was all: "Jennifer, your arms are strong enough right? Try doing this pose." and I declined at first, but even my instructor agreed with him and I just ended up trying it. I still have no idea what that position is called, because I really didn't even have the thought of asking because my mind was so clouded over with fear of falling on my head. Fyi, the senior instructor had no choice but to spot me because my body was swaying back and forth like a pendulum—I'm quite sure that I had an out-of-body experience for like a minute because of that.

Now this one I had no trouble with, and to be honest, this is one of my favorite poses ever because 1. it looks so beautiful, and 2. it's really quite easy to do! Of course, I had an awful head rush after I came down from that position, but it felt so great to do that! I honestly want to do more of these photoshoots because although they were really exhausting, they were so exciting! I can only hope that there will be another one ><

Well, that's about it for now, but you can check out more of these Pilates pictures on Instagram! 

See you in the next post,

Jennifer W.

Get to know the blogger tag!

I did something similar to this when an acquaintance of mine tagged me on another social networking site, but I thought it would be fun to do it on my blog!

Here goes:

1. Are you named after anyone? No, I'm pretty sure my parents just gave me this name after going over a few options :p 

2. When was the last time you cried? Last night because I stayed up late reading a very sad story :p 

3. Do you have kids? No.  

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? Yeah, sure! That way I'll know what to do to not annoy me, like not talking to me and just leaving me be for the first hour after I wake up. 

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, not really. I only use it when I'm around my best friends, but not often. 

6. Will you ever bungee-jump? Oh, no no no no no no no no no no O______O I have a fear of heights, and this totally weird paranoia that the cord might break or something. 

7. What’s your favorite cereal? Post Select's Blueberry Morning cereal! Oh my gah, I can eat that for breakfast, lunch, dinner all the time. 

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Eyes and smile, and the way they carry themselves and act around others :) 

9. What is your eye colour? Dark brown ♥ 

10. Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings all the way! I'm such a wimp that I end up getting nightmares when I watch scary movies.  

11. Favorite smells? Lavender, jasmine, and the smell of a baby (I know that sounds weird, but there's something about it that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside) 

12. Summer or winter? Winter. I live in a tropical country, so it's like summer all year long O___O I'm tired of the heat! 

13. Computer or television? Computer all the way. 

14. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Probably the USA when I went there for family vacations and to visit my older brother. 

15. Do you have any special talents? Oh this is a toughie :\ I don't think so? I mean, I think I'm quite flexible, but I don't think it's a special talent considering I'm a dancer :\ 

16. Where were you born? Jakarta. 

17. What are your hobbies? Dancing, listening to music, hanging out with friends, spending time with kids at the orphanage I visit every now and then :) 

18. Do you have any pets? No, I have no luck with pets.....seriously T-T over the span of 19 years, I've had a total of 15 pets......but......they are no longer with me now T-T 

19. Favorite movie? Definitely the Step Up series! 

20. Do you have any siblings? Yes, one older brother and one younger brother. 

21. What do you want to be when you grow up? I've always wanted to own a dance company/studio; travel all over the world to learn, teach, and share my passion and love for dancing. Those things have always been in my mind ever since I was 4 years old :)

Well that is it! I tag each and every one of you readers to do this :)

Love,
Jennifer

Trying out some stunts

"All it takes is a second and your whole life can get turned upside down." —Jodi Picoult

Boy, is that right O____O

My two best guy friends Eugene (the one in the black shirt) and Randy (the one in the gray shirt), and I had dance practice yesterday where we decided to be daredevils and attempt a few stunts. Eugene became the main base, because he was the biggest and strongest out of the three of us, while Randy and I became the "flyers" or whatever it is we were supposed to be called.

We were no strangers to stunts, but we tried some seriously crazy, Jackass-worthy stuff yesterday that really scared the wits out of Randy and me. Randy is a b-boy, so it's safe to say that he's become great friends with the floor, if you get what I mean; I am used to being lifted and spun around like a rag doll for dance (and even outside of dance); Eugene has some experience in lifting and executing other stunts. But some of the tricks we did yesterday were really............scary, for a lack of a better word. I got a shoe to the face, Eugene accidentally slammed his knees to the floor, and Randy became even better friends with the floor.

I'll stop talking for now and let you see the videos we recorded yesterday. Warning: please don't try this at home if you've got no experience in stunts or dance or whatever. I don't want to be held accountable if you get injured.

When doing stunts, or simply dancing with a partner/team, it's important to place your full trust in them lest you want to fail, or in my and Randy's case yesterday, fall on our heads. Knowing that Eugene would definitely catch us on time and know when and how to stop immediately if something went wrong gave me some sort of comfort, but I was still quite scared for the most part. Randy even told me that he was scared for me :p but thankfully, nothing too bad happened to us.

I want to try that backflip again because I didn't manage to land properly; I just want to get it right! Oh, please remember to use a mat or any soft, cushion-y material when attempting stunts or tricks—safety first.

Well, I'll see you in the next post!

Love,
Jennifer